Mary and John's story is familiar.
"I hate you -- get out of my life!" she said when he finally arrived. She was furious about his coming home two hours late to a cold dinner on the table. The candles had burned out, and she ate alone. This was not the first time he stood her up. You'd think she would learn! (You'd think he would learn!)
She loved him so much she was enraged, and told him she wanted a divorce and for him to leave and never come back! Obviously to John, Mary no longer loved him, so he left, hurt and upset, and spent the night elsewhere. Mary was even more hurt from his staying away all night.
Of course, she loved him very much. She understood that. But how could she love him and hate him at the same time? She wondered, and he wondered, and with no clear answer they drifted apart.
She didn't understand that love is more than a feeling of pleasure. Love is also an emotional investment. Mary's anger meant that John was very important to her. Otherwise she wouldn't care at all. Anger is an inevitable feeling in any relationship . . . but you have to know how to use the energy to turn upsets into opportunities.
The truth is, many people are confused about how to have a close relationship that works. . . .
. . .and no wonder. . .
There are thousands of families out there that model for their kids how not to be loving with their husband or wife. They may want to know the "Secret of loving relationships ". . . but all they can do is the best they learned from their own parents about how to get along with others. . . .
Love Means Treating Others Well
How to have harmonious relationships is not a mystery. The first meaning of love has to do with how you treat the person you care about. Creating a close, loving relationship is not actually so difficult to understand! How to do it can be learned. In fact, it has to be learned by everyone who knows how to sanctify their relationship rather than pollute it.
Anyone can do it, and there is no need to sit at the feet of a "guru," spend thousands on training workshops, or give up and settle for doing without the love you want.. . .
It all comes down to the simple, basic rules of listening, understanding, and empathizing with what is important to your loved one. Once you understand how treating others in loving ways works, your relationship cannot fail because of you.
Now, here's a book about the meaning of love that will show you the foundation on which to build a deeply caring relationship . . .
The Meaning of Love is based on the proven principles and methods that are currently being used by those couples who succeed in their relationships. The other 55% who fail in their marriages use the methods that poison and destroy their relationships.
Love Means Pleasure
When couples treat each other well, they delight in each other, and love means pleasure, deep emotional enjoyment of each other.
Sexual pleasure is only that, and does not create emotional intimacy. You don't have to settle for temporary enjoyment as all you can have. You can go beyond to find the emotional satisfaction that you've always wanted.
Don't waste time thinking sex is the answer. Learn from what others know . . . that acceptance and affirmation of oneself and others creates the emotional delight that can be expressed with sex.
The experts who understand what works have one thing in common. . . they know that couples who succeed have the same problems as couples who fail. . . the difference is in how they deal with their problems when they are not enjoying each other.
Does your husband or wife (or significant other):
Criticize you about little things?
Seem less interested in you than before?
Put you off when it comes to physical contact?
Here is a manual that tells you exactly what others do to get the positive results that you want in your own relationship. You don't have to figure it all out on your own from scratch.
You have a description of what really works and what doesn't when it comes to close, emotionally satisfying, loving relationships.
Love Means Caring: Emotional Investment
Sharing life activities and personal information creates intimacy and emotional connection. Over time, caring grows and your emotional investment in the other deepens, even when all is not "rosy" and pleasurable. We love because we find our emotional match in the other person, that which makes us feel more whole. We have found a "soul mate" and gradually become more and more emotionally and spiritually connected to the other person.
Fear is what gets in the way of caring. But you don't have to suffer in silence. Using the principles in this book, you can reverse what may seem irreversible, including:
Fear of asking for what you want.
Finding yourself reacting defensively when you don't want to do so.
Being critical of your partner or yourself.
Attempting to control your partner.
Fear of being rejected.
You Can Make Your Relationship More Loving -- Today
The Meaning of Love explains how love based on need fulfillment usually has serious limitations, but identifies the one need we should continue to nurture. . .
I have put it together for you in one place, covering the things couples do to poison their relationship, and showing the positive alternatives to replace what doesn't work.
Here are a few of the questions addressed . . .
"What are the three meanings of love that create confusion when one is true and one or two of the others are not?
"What is the one emotional need for love that we never outgrow?"
"What are the three ways that sex is often used to create intimacy in a relationship?"
"What is the most effective way to use sex to cement emotional intimacy?"
"What is the meaning of love that satisfies your soul and connects most deeply to the one you love?"
"What is the most effective technique for resolving disagreements, and how do you do it?"
